GUEST POST: Pure Worth by Nikki Washington

GUEST POST:  Each month, we will have a Guest Post from a leader with a passion for purity and teens.  Keep watching for it the last Friday of the month.  This month, we welcome Nikki Washington.  Enjoy!

She boasted, “I told him all about you!”  In her best southern accent, she squealed, “I told him you’re saved, sanctified, spirit-filled and never touched by man’s hands.  That’s right honey, I told him you’re a virgin!”  I’ll never forget when a church friend and mother came to me after a gentleman expressed some interest in me.  I know she meant well, but it was simply an awkward moment for me.  In short, she was selling me to this male suitor like I was some shiny new Geo Metro.  I could hear the commercial, “Brand new! No miles! All credit is approved! Everything must go!” Okay now I’m being silly, but you get the picture.

Early in my walk with God, I began to learn about my worth as a woman in Christ.  I began to understand what my mom couldn’t teach me and my dad wasn’t there to say to me.  I found my value far exceeded any monetary amount.  I learned I was a gift, and my body, a temple.  I was too valuable to give “it” up in exchange for dinner and a movie, or sly grins and whispers of sweet nothings.  I learned how to honor God with all of me so that He would receive glory.  And don’t get it twisted, I’m not saying it’s always been easy… but it has always been worth it.

Let me challenge you to begin to study and find out what God says about you.  Don’t let someone who didn’t create you define you.  Knowing who you are in God comes with endless benefits.  When you know your worth, you won’t give away what God has ordained for your spouse.  When you know your worth, you won’t allow someone to treat you with disdain or disrespect.  When you know your worth, you won’t settle for less than God’s best for your life.  Make a decision today to not give yourself to anyone who’s not your spouse.  Wait for God to unite you with the one He has for you.  I know it’s easier said than done, but I’m talking about what I know, not just what I’ve heard.  Even if you haven’t waited, you can make a decision to give all of yourself to God.  Try it, and watch Him wipe the slate clean.

The old saints use to say, “God will keep you if you want to be kept!”  I can attest to that.  Truthfully speaking, there were times God kept me even when I didn’t want to be kept (thank you Jesus).  And it doesn’t matter if you’ve made mistakes in the past, the wonderful thing about God is that you can start over again.  Sis, you don’t have to give yourself away anymore, you’re too good for that.  When God made you He made you fearfully and wonderfully.  There’s something to be said about the glow of a woman who has been in intimate worship with the Father.  Allow God to give you a different type of afterglow.  Take it from me, a 33 year old virgin: purity’s so worth it and you are too!

Nikki Washington is an abstinence advocate and the founder of thechastitybelt.org, a blog site dedicated to purity.  For more information, you can contact Nikki at thechastitybelt2010@gmail.com.

Thanks Nikki for sharing your heart with us this month.  I love the challenge you issued to our girls to search for their true worth.  Great message!

When Necessary, Use Words

Recently, the question was asked about “teen pregnancy and generational curses”…very deep stuff to think about for this analytical mind.  By no means do I have all of the answers, but after some discussion and prayer, I do believe teens make decisions of their own free will that create consequences.  Some families struggle in certain areas of weakness where others may not.  Some consequences are deeper than others.  Some are easy to disguise, while others cannot be hidden.  All families have struggles; don’t be fooled.

Regardless of your family history, the best defense you have as a parent is to equip yourself.  Dig into God’s Word daily and talk often with your child.  The discussion of purity is not an “ok, we had this talk. Now you know.” kind-of discussion.  Please do not expect one chat to equip your child for life in today’s anything goes society.  Today’s young people need to see their parents walking out what they speak daily.  Share your journey with your child, tell them about some of your struggles (not all…don’t unpack your whole life on them) and your goals, and encourage, encourage, encourage them.  Be their biggest cheerleader, and pray for them daily.  Remember, someone is speaking the opposite of purity to your students 24/7 (TV, internet, friends, social media, etc).  It’s our job as parents to make sure they hear the truth about life and purity, and to equip them with the tools they need in life.  Put your students in a safe atmosphere (connect groups, youth ministries, church, etc) where they can be fitted with the gear they need for life.  However, it’s ultimately up to them to put these tools into practice as teens and young adults.  Sadly, some will choose not to and face serious consequences, but don’t let that be an excuse to look the other way.

YOU ARE the best teacher your student will ever have regardless of what anyone says.  Every day, your child is learning something from you through your actions.  If you feel your life isn’t a good example, don’t give up…you can change that.  It doesn’t mean perfection. Set a goal to improve.  Simply make the changes you need to make in your life and be honest with your child in your journey.  Make the best of your situation.  Ask God for help.  Find a good devotional or Bible study, get connected in a local church, and surround yourself with a support network.  Improving your child’s view of you is one of the greatest gifts you can give them.  As Francis of Assisi would say, “If God can work through me, He can work through anyone.”  I feel that way every day.  Lead your child by your actions and when necessary use words.  You’ve got this!

For more encouragement, see the PARENT link at www.conniefirmin.com.

Live The Dream 2011

If you’ve never attended the Live The Dream (LTD) Women’s Conference at Healing Place Church, you are certainly missing out. We just wrapped up our 5^th annual LTD, and as usual, this was the best one yet!  Every year I question how this year can be topped, and then the next year rolls around bringing things to a whole new level.  We had the honor and privilege of hearing Christine Caine of the A21 Campaign, Ps. Craig & Amy Groeschel of LifeChurch.TV, Ps. DeLynn Rizzo of Healing Place, and Priscilla Shirer of Going Beyond Ministries.  As if one long message was strategically broken into multiple segments, the overall theme of LOVE was delivered with flare and lots of sparkle.  It was one big God orchestrated message for the 2,500+ women in attendance. Here’s a blip of what I learned:

The weekend kicked off Thursday night with Christine Caine encouraging women to be ready and watching for their appointed time.  We must not confuse our due season with a due date.  It’s not about a date, but about God using us in the season He has destined for us.  We must come with child-like faith, expecting! Perspective is everything. If you don’t get in a place of disappointment, then your God Appointments will certainly come.  Question: What am I expecting?

Friday morning we gathered to hear Amy Groeschel share how we can be faithful rookies with our gifts and calling.  We must take the first step, but it’s ultimately about Him and His will for our lives.  It’s not about initiating “our own” plan.  There are countless examples in the Bible of this, but we discussed a few in particular.  God can give us the confidence we need (like Gideon), the ability to carry out His plan (like Moses), and the compassion to love others right where they are (like Jonah).  Never compare your calling or gifts to anyone else’s; just go and do what He calls you to go and do when He calls.  It’s by our weakness that His strength is made perfect. Question: What are my gifts? How am I called? 

Christine Caine followed up with Jesus being our “first and only love”.  Always stay true to your first love.  No affairs…God wants fidelity; He wants ALL of our heart and devotion. If we just put our whole heart in, God will work out the rest.  Be careful: Affairs come from lust, lonliness, bordom & familiarity, insecurity and laziness. It’s so important to guard your heart by getting in the Word and in His Presence.  A good marriage takes a LOT of work.  Find your identity in Him, and be the best bride you can be…the Bridegroom is coming. Question:  Am I faithful to God?  Am I committed to Him first?

Ps. Craig Groeschel wrapped up the morning calling us face-to-face with our fears.  Fear is simply putting faith in the wrong thing.  Name your fear and call it what it is.  Realign your faith by choosing to trust God.  The answer comes from seeking the Lord until He removes all of our fears.  God is able and knows every detail of our fears.  Our Abba Father has it covered. Perfect love casts out all fear.  Question:  Am I choosing to truly trust God? What am I afraid of?

By this point in the weekend, God had truly read my mail to everyone, and it was only the half-way point.  Priscilla Shirer expanded on the story of Gideon from earlier in the morning.  He was marked with a brand new name.  She reminded us that when we are made new in Christ, we are not the same people we were, and we have no business going back there.  Posture and perspective are everything in the battles we face.  Fear will come, but never allow it to control your thoughts or your words.  God equips us for the battle ahead.  Be careful of the view since the vantage point can skew the view.  When our resources are depleted, it’s then that God steps in.  Questions:  Where am I spiritually camping out? What type of people do I allow to speak into my life? Where am I leading others?

Then there was the famous “After Party” Friday night.  Smores, sweets and a great show rounded out the night.  Although Saturday morning came early, Ps. DeLynn Rizzo wow’d us with a powerful and practical message to help us in our breaking points.  Breaking points really are good places where we get on our knees at God’s throne.  Don’t focus on the situation, but on the solution.  She gently reminded us that God hears us, cares for us, and heals us in His Presence.  Weeping becomes a place of refreshment.  Question:  What area(s) of my life am I trying to control?  How can I give this area to God?

The wrap up came from Priscilla Shirer reminding us not to sleep through the present trying to get to our tomorrows.  We must be present in our present.  It’s time for us to be fully awake and fully alert so we’ll be able to tell the whole story of what God’s done in our lives.  Question: Am I fully engaged and awake?

There was so much meat on this bone that we’ll be chewing for months until LTD rolls around again next year.  I cannot wait to get the CD’s in so I can listen to these messages over and over.  Thank you HPC, Ps. DeLynn Rizzo and staff for another great conference.  Get registered, and I’ll see you there in 2012!

To learn more about this amazing conference, visit www.livethedreamconference.com.

God is a Dream Giver

Healing Place had the honor of having Pastor Steve Robinson of Church of the King speak at service this weekend.  What a great sermon, perfect timing for me.  Thought I would share my notes because this message applies to everyone, and that includes me and you! The sermon will likely be available online at Healing Place if you want to hear the entire message.

God is in the Process…  (Pastor Steve Robinson – September 4, 2011)

God is in the process… If you don’t put yourself in position for a miracle, you’ll never receive one.  It’s not about your personal benefit.  Christian life is a journey.  It’s about progression and growth.  You need to know that God doesn’t expect perfection, but He does want progress.  We’ve gotta grow just like Jesus grew.

Jesus grew in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and all the people. (Luke 2:52)

Three points about God-sized Dreams:

1.  When God gives you HIS Dream, it’s most likely going to be bigger than you can handle or accomplish.  God is the Dream Giver.  Abram was certainly not able to fulfill on his own the dream God spoke over him.

The LORD had said to Abram, “Leave your native country, your relatives, and your father’s family, and go to the land that I will show you. I will make you into a great nation.  I will bless you and make you famous, and you will be a blessing to others.  I will bless those who bless you and curse those who treat you with contempt.  All the families on earth will be blessed through you.”  (Gen 12:1-3)

2.  Delays are always inevitable.  Tips:

• Don’t take matters into your own hands. Sarai didn’t wait for God to provide the miracle.  She began to doubt.  It was many years BEFORE God provided the answer to His promise, His dream for her.
• Wait for the Lord’s anointing.  Don’t go it on your own. WAIT!  Sarai took matters into her own hands.  Bad idea!
• God wants to build character INSIDE to sustain you when He does bring your dream to fruition.  God was building something inside of Sarai and Abram for His perfect plan.

Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had not been able to bear children for him. But she had an Egyptian servant named Hagar. So Sarai said to Abram, “The LORD has prevented me from having children. Go and sleep with my servant. Perhaps I can have children through her.” And Abram agreed with Sarai’s proposal.  (Gen 16:1-2)

3.  God’s timing is PERFECT!  God has a set time and God makes it happen.

• Stop fighting the process of God and let Him do things His way.
• Serve another persons God Dream until God makes yours come forward.

The LORD kept his word and did for Sarah exactly what he had promised.  She became pregnant, and she gave birth to a son for Abraham in his old age. This happened AT JUST THE TIME God had said it would.  (Gen 21:1-2)

Don’t give up if God has given you a dream and you have not seen it happen yet. Stay focused!  If you don’t have a God dream, it begins with giving your life to Christ.  When you do that, God will breath His dream right into your life.  Every dream begins with a step of faith.

Sparkle CHAT.LIVE

On Thursday July 7th, Healing Place Church Online hosted a Chat.Live Event interviewing me on my recent book, Sparkle.   If you were unable to attend, my dear friend, Elizabeth Demarest, hosted the night, and we had a great time.  I thought it might be helpful to answer some of these questions we received from the chat in a post.  What a blessing it is to have such wonderful Pastors (Dino & DeLynn Rizzo, Dan Ohlerking and Jason Laird) and an amazing house (Healing Place Church) to serve under.  Thank you for the opportunity to share my heart with the HPC family!

Here are the questions and answers:

How can we use this book to help sons choose a godly girl in the future?  Great question! As a parent, I suggest reading everything you can get your hands on.  As conversations come up, you’ll be equipped in what a godly young lady looks like and can direct your son.  Use it as a conversation started. Tell him “you know, I was reading in this book this or that.  What do you think about it?”  I believe the more you open the door of communication with your student (son or daughter), the more opportunity you have to speak into your child’s life.  Be their biggest cheerleader, and they will come to you for advice, I promise!

Is this book about purity from sex before marriage?  Another great question!  Yes and no. I believe purity is a lifestyle, not just a decision to save sex for marriage.  Yes, waiting for your husband/wife for life is part of it, and there are parts of the book that discuss this topic.  However, there’s much more.  I intertwined my story of hope through my own teen pregnancy throughout the book, along with practical tips for teens today.  Sparkle talks about so many different areas. There is nothing on the market that I’ve seen that talks about all of these areas in one place.  It’s an easy read too.

Can you give us a real life example of how purity is freedom?  Can popularity and purity really go together?  These two questions were asked separately, but I believe they tie together.  Yes, I know a girl in our EPIC Student Ministries that is a walking example of purity and popularity.  She is a precious 18-year-old girl named Angela that lives a lifestyle of purity. She may be beautiful on the outside, but it’s her inner beauty that attracts everyone to her. She is free from guilt, condemnation and shame because of her stand for purity, and you can see that when you are around her. She has no regrets for her decision.  She was so liked by her peers in school that they elected her Home Coming Queen last year when she was a senior. She made a huge difference on her campus and everyone knew that she stood for purity.  It didn’t stop them from liking her for who she was.  In fact, I think it drew others to her.  She is a precious and free young woman respected by everyone she knows.  Great example of freedom!

Do you talk about how girls dress in the book?  The book doesn’t necessarily have a “this is what you should or should not wear” section.  I believe when reading this book, the changes you see on the outside come from the changes on the inside. There is an entire chapter about loving and respecting yourself and what real beauty is which talks about how you see yourself.  When you discover your real identity then clothing changes will likely occur.  If not, you always have your Dad to tell you “Go change. You’re not walking out of this house like that!”  I wish I had a nickel for every time I heard my husband tell our girls that when they were teens.

What is the Sparkle Tribe?  The Sparkle Tribe is a girls only connect group at HPC geared toward living a lifestyle of purity.  We have great outings and talk about all kinds of things.  This summer, we took the Sparkle book and used it as a guide for 7 weeks and will follow it up with our annual Sparkle Pledge. The pledge is a celebration of the girls decisions with their family where they receive a ring, bracelet or necklace to remind them of their commitment.  It’s a great group.  The whole idea behind the group is to inspire discussion between the girls and their parents in the area of purity.  A girls best teacher is and always will be her parents.  We just want to walk along side of them.  We’ll be kicking off an awesome Mom’s group too.  More info coming on that in the next few weeks and in the Connect Group Menu.  You can find the Sparkle Tribe on the Connect Menu at http://www.healingplacechurch.org by selecting the Highland Campus and searching for middle school girls groups.

Getting our Sparkle on before the shoot!

If you are a leader in your church, why not start your own Sparkle Tribe?!  Email me, and I’ll give you all the info you need to start one up.  It’s super easy and loads of fun!

How do you explain staying pure to your child?  I believe it begins by what you live.  You know the phrase “actions speak louder than words” is so true.  What you live speaks volumes to your children.  The rest just comes in conversation.  Every student is different.  Some have lots of questions; others just don’t want to talk about it.  My suggestion is to talk with your child.  If you don’t, I guarantee someone else will and probably already is.  You want them to have the truth.  Pray about it, and God will give you the words you need.

Chat.Live was so much fun.  I’m looking forward to our next one coming up this fall when we will have some of our girls from the Sparkle Pledge share their thoughts on purity.  Until then, get a copy of Sparkle and share it with someone. I’m believing God’s awakening purity in students, parents and leaders everywhere. I’m just honored to be along for the ride and have a front row seat.  Blessings!