When Necessary, Use Words

Recently, the question was asked about “teen pregnancy and generational curses”…very deep stuff to think about for this analytical mind.  By no means do I have all of the answers, but after some discussion and prayer, I do believe teens make decisions of their own free will that create consequences.  Some families struggle in certain areas of weakness where others may not.  Some consequences are deeper than others.  Some are easy to disguise, while others cannot be hidden.  All families have struggles; don’t be fooled.

Regardless of your family history, the best defense you have as a parent is to equip yourself.  Dig into God’s Word daily and talk often with your child.  The discussion of purity is not an “ok, we had this talk. Now you know.” kind-of discussion.  Please do not expect one chat to equip your child for life in today’s anything goes society.  Today’s young people need to see their parents walking out what they speak daily.  Share your journey with your child, tell them about some of your struggles (not all…don’t unpack your whole life on them) and your goals, and encourage, encourage, encourage them.  Be their biggest cheerleader, and pray for them daily.  Remember, someone is speaking the opposite of purity to your students 24/7 (TV, internet, friends, social media, etc).  It’s our job as parents to make sure they hear the truth about life and purity, and to equip them with the tools they need in life.  Put your students in a safe atmosphere (connect groups, youth ministries, church, etc) where they can be fitted with the gear they need for life.  However, it’s ultimately up to them to put these tools into practice as teens and young adults.  Sadly, some will choose not to and face serious consequences, but don’t let that be an excuse to look the other way.

YOU ARE the best teacher your student will ever have regardless of what anyone says.  Every day, your child is learning something from you through your actions.  If you feel your life isn’t a good example, don’t give up…you can change that.  It doesn’t mean perfection. Set a goal to improve.  Simply make the changes you need to make in your life and be honest with your child in your journey.  Make the best of your situation.  Ask God for help.  Find a good devotional or Bible study, get connected in a local church, and surround yourself with a support network.  Improving your child’s view of you is one of the greatest gifts you can give them.  As Francis of Assisi would say, “If God can work through me, He can work through anyone.”  I feel that way every day.  Lead your child by your actions and when necessary use words.  You’ve got this!

For more encouragement, see the PARENT link at www.conniefirmin.com.

SHINE

Last night we held the kickoff for our Shine Connect Group and did what Mom’s do best: talk a lot.  Shine is a Moms connect group coming together to study God’s Word, share encouragement, and talk about raising up pure daughters in today’s crazy world.  We’ve even got some great Mother/Daughter events planned to come together while serving the community.  Our heart for this group is for Mother/Daughter relationships to flourish.  They do not have to be sour or disconnected in the teen years like so many suggest. In fact, I believe it should be just the opposite. This is a time when girls need their Moms.  Mom’s need to encourage their daughters and should be their biggest cheerleader as they grow into young women.  We also want to see Mom’s see themselves as valuable and significant.  With this in mind, I am so excited about what God has in store for these Moms and their daughters.

Pastor Dino Rizzo recently shared a great message for students and families regarding young people and church today at the Back To School Blessing.  It should be required listening for everyone. If you have not heard it, here is the link:  http://www.healingplacechurch.org/onlinesermons/watch/now-generation/    Pastor shared about the things our students face as young as 4th grade.  I heard from a teacher that by the time kids reach 4th grade they themselves or someone they personally know have already had sex. Mind boggling to think our 4th graders are there.  Pastor shared Sparkle as a great resource for parents to get for their middle/high school students, and I’m so glad he did.  We must get the message of purity into their hands and hearts.  Since the release of Sparkle, I’ve been privileged to talk with lots of great parents (and grandparents) out there all concerned about one thing:  their young person’s purity.  We, as Moms (and Dads), must take a stand for our students in this area.  Unfortunately, I’ve overheard a lot of parents modeling things other than purity. I hear them talking in the store, in our neighborhood, at restaurants, and it is heartbreaking to hear some of these conversations.  Our girls need godly examples to follow.

We must shine as we were created to do so that they will know what to do.  We’ve got to first find our own value and worth to be able to instill these amazing characteristics in our daughters.  What better example do our students have than us? We are, and always will be, our child’s greatest teacher whether we speak a word to them or not.  Our actions are always speaking something. 

Parents (grandparents, step-parents, etc), here’s a challenge for you:  Really sit down and evaluate where you are.  What are you allowing your child to see and/or hear in your actions?  Does it line up with the Scripture?  Pray about it and see what God speaks to your heart.  He thinks you are so valuable.  If you aren’t connected in a local church, get plugged in.  We were created for community, not isolation.  We need to take our place in society for our children.  They are looking for something to follow.

Question: Are you reflecting purity?  Do you see yourself as valuable?

Sparkle Pledge July 23, 2011

Our Sparkle Tribe gathered together July 23, 2011 to celebrate one of my favorite events of the year: Sparkle Pledge.  During June and July, this amazing group of girls studied, shared, read God’s Word and learned about purity.  We discussed things like dating, what to look for in Mr. Right, filling up on the right things, purity, quiet time, and so much more. This final event for the summer was an all out celebration of 22 girls making a decision to live a lifestyle of purity.  I love it!  Family and friends came from different places to join in the fun and support these young ladies.

As each family arrived, we had them take a family photo with the backdrop created by our Leaders-In-Training.  We visited for a little while, blessed the food so carefully prepared the night before, and made a dash for the table.  Smiles and laughter filled the room as chocolate covered strawberries & pretzels, sandwiches, fiesta dip and Darelle’s famous rainbow cupcakes were quickly consumed.  First the parents & caregivers pledged to the girls to stand by them and walk with them in this journey. Some girls received rings while others received necklaces and still others received bracelets.  Next the girls pledged to their parents and to God to make purity a priority in their daily lives and to strive to be what God has created them to be.  What precious girls they truly are!  Finally, the girls and their parents had a few moments together as they and their mentors signed certificates to seal the deal.  Erin closed out the afternoon, and we headed downstairs to the backdrop for a quick group photo.

Those girls simply radiated Jesus to everyone around.  Such joy for me to see them so happy and proud.  They really sparkled!  What a great time we all had.  I’m looking forward to what God has in store for these amazing girls, and for our fall events.  So precious!  Until then, enjoy some photos of Sparkle Pledge 2011.

Oh, and before I forget… A special thank you to Eric Velarde for taking all of these amazing photos for Sparkle.  And I’m so grateful to all of the amazing leaders we have. Without each and every one of you, Sparkle wouldn’t be what it is today!  Love you!

Click here to view photos

Sparkle CHAT.LIVE

On Thursday July 7th, Healing Place Church Online hosted a Chat.Live Event interviewing me on my recent book, Sparkle.   If you were unable to attend, my dear friend, Elizabeth Demarest, hosted the night, and we had a great time.  I thought it might be helpful to answer some of these questions we received from the chat in a post.  What a blessing it is to have such wonderful Pastors (Dino & DeLynn Rizzo, Dan Ohlerking and Jason Laird) and an amazing house (Healing Place Church) to serve under.  Thank you for the opportunity to share my heart with the HPC family!

Here are the questions and answers:

How can we use this book to help sons choose a godly girl in the future?  Great question! As a parent, I suggest reading everything you can get your hands on.  As conversations come up, you’ll be equipped in what a godly young lady looks like and can direct your son.  Use it as a conversation started. Tell him “you know, I was reading in this book this or that.  What do you think about it?”  I believe the more you open the door of communication with your student (son or daughter), the more opportunity you have to speak into your child’s life.  Be their biggest cheerleader, and they will come to you for advice, I promise!

Is this book about purity from sex before marriage?  Another great question!  Yes and no. I believe purity is a lifestyle, not just a decision to save sex for marriage.  Yes, waiting for your husband/wife for life is part of it, and there are parts of the book that discuss this topic.  However, there’s much more.  I intertwined my story of hope through my own teen pregnancy throughout the book, along with practical tips for teens today.  Sparkle talks about so many different areas. There is nothing on the market that I’ve seen that talks about all of these areas in one place.  It’s an easy read too.

Can you give us a real life example of how purity is freedom?  Can popularity and purity really go together?  These two questions were asked separately, but I believe they tie together.  Yes, I know a girl in our EPIC Student Ministries that is a walking example of purity and popularity.  She is a precious 18-year-old girl named Angela that lives a lifestyle of purity. She may be beautiful on the outside, but it’s her inner beauty that attracts everyone to her. She is free from guilt, condemnation and shame because of her stand for purity, and you can see that when you are around her. She has no regrets for her decision.  She was so liked by her peers in school that they elected her Home Coming Queen last year when she was a senior. She made a huge difference on her campus and everyone knew that she stood for purity.  It didn’t stop them from liking her for who she was.  In fact, I think it drew others to her.  She is a precious and free young woman respected by everyone she knows.  Great example of freedom!

Do you talk about how girls dress in the book?  The book doesn’t necessarily have a “this is what you should or should not wear” section.  I believe when reading this book, the changes you see on the outside come from the changes on the inside. There is an entire chapter about loving and respecting yourself and what real beauty is which talks about how you see yourself.  When you discover your real identity then clothing changes will likely occur.  If not, you always have your Dad to tell you “Go change. You’re not walking out of this house like that!”  I wish I had a nickel for every time I heard my husband tell our girls that when they were teens.

What is the Sparkle Tribe?  The Sparkle Tribe is a girls only connect group at HPC geared toward living a lifestyle of purity.  We have great outings and talk about all kinds of things.  This summer, we took the Sparkle book and used it as a guide for 7 weeks and will follow it up with our annual Sparkle Pledge. The pledge is a celebration of the girls decisions with their family where they receive a ring, bracelet or necklace to remind them of their commitment.  It’s a great group.  The whole idea behind the group is to inspire discussion between the girls and their parents in the area of purity.  A girls best teacher is and always will be her parents.  We just want to walk along side of them.  We’ll be kicking off an awesome Mom’s group too.  More info coming on that in the next few weeks and in the Connect Group Menu.  You can find the Sparkle Tribe on the Connect Menu at http://www.healingplacechurch.org by selecting the Highland Campus and searching for middle school girls groups.

Getting our Sparkle on before the shoot!

If you are a leader in your church, why not start your own Sparkle Tribe?!  Email me, and I’ll give you all the info you need to start one up.  It’s super easy and loads of fun!

How do you explain staying pure to your child?  I believe it begins by what you live.  You know the phrase “actions speak louder than words” is so true.  What you live speaks volumes to your children.  The rest just comes in conversation.  Every student is different.  Some have lots of questions; others just don’t want to talk about it.  My suggestion is to talk with your child.  If you don’t, I guarantee someone else will and probably already is.  You want them to have the truth.  Pray about it, and God will give you the words you need.

Chat.Live was so much fun.  I’m looking forward to our next one coming up this fall when we will have some of our girls from the Sparkle Pledge share their thoughts on purity.  Until then, get a copy of Sparkle and share it with someone. I’m believing God’s awakening purity in students, parents and leaders everywhere. I’m just honored to be along for the ride and have a front row seat.  Blessings!

Finally Time to Sparkle

Sparkle has finally arrived. What a whirl-wind of activity these books bring with them.  The first shipment arrived just in time for the kick-off of Sparkle Tribe where we have 28 amazing girls participating in this girls-only connect group and a dozen incredible leaders.  Such energy and passion!  I love it!

Pre-release copies of Sparkle are now available for purchase.  If you are in the Baton Rouge area, you can get copies from me, or you can have it ship to your door by visiting online at www.conniefirmin.com.  Construction of the official website is well under way, and so far, so good.  In fact, I think it’s pretty awesome.  It’s difficult for me not to release the website right now, but I know that all good things take time.  This one is no different.  Regardless of where you fit in the puzzle (teen, parent or leader), you will find great information on the new site.  It’s not just some link to sell books…it’s going to be a tool to help you live out a Lifestyle of Purity.  I think you’ll love it too!  You can comment to let me know what you’d like to see included on the site.

So many great things are happening.  Healing Place Church will be hosting a chat.live online event to talk about what’s going on with Sparkle on July 7th.  The book will also be featured in Healing Place’s Mission Cafe in July and available for purchase there soon too.  You can see a recent review of Sparkle on Jennifer Maggio’s blog.  A workbook/leaders guide for Sparkle is also in the works.  Things are moving along quickly.  Keep watching! Details will be coming soon on all of these events, the website and more.  Don’t forget to leave a comment.

Here’s some of the things being said about Sparkle already:

“Just finished your book and wanted to let you know that I absolutely loved it! It really opened my eyes to some things and challenged me to continue on the path of purity throughout my life!”  -CB

“This book is a must read for every teenage girl! It not only demonstrates the values of a pure life, but also how to live that life for God.  It highlights the challenges teens face and solutions to these problems through God’s Word. I highly recommend it to every teenage girl, like myself.” -JF

“The thing I like most about this book is it isn’t all about not having sex before marriage.  Yes, that’s important, but it talks other important things like dating, what to look for in a guy, self-image, and much more.  I like that!”  -RV