PURITY…Really?! (Guest Post by Jennifer Maggio)
GUEST BLOG POST BY Jennifer Maggio. Each month, we will be posting a Guest Blog entry from ladies around the country with a passion for purity and teens. Watch for it the last Friday of the month. You are in for such a treat with the lineup we have. You can sign up to receive these posts by email above. Enjoy!
I am rarely a fan of television talk shows, but was flipping through the channels the other day and happened upon a talk show doing a piece of the now-popular “Purity Ball”. If you are not familiar, Purity Balls are held in hotels around the country, whereby a daughter in her early teens is escorted by her father to an evening event with music, dancing, a nice dinner, etc. The ball ends when the daughter takes a pledge to live her life purely and presents this pledge to her father, who also commits to help her in that journey.
As is the case with most media today, this talk-show host and much of the audience was tearing to shreds the guests who had signed the agreement and attended the events. I was infuriated. Comments such as “Purity isn’t a reality in 2012.” “Sex outside marriage is not wrong.” “Abstinence doesn’t work.” were followed with an eruption of applause from the audience.
The truth is, that is the feeling of most of today’s anything-goes society. Although 80% of the country identifies themselves as Christians, sex outside marriage has become a common occurrence and is glossed over as an event of little consequence. And, if I’m being totally transparent, I would tell you that I, at an earlier point in my own life, felt the same as most of the studio audience that day.
At 13 years old, I was the only virgin I knew! Everyone around me was having sex. I held out as long as I could, and mostly due to peer pressure, I became sexually active. For me, it was a horrific, embarrassing, and shameful experience. I resolved I would never do it again, but peer pressure persisted, and my relationship with the Lord dwindled. Before I even knew what was happening…..I was pregnant 4 times by 19 years old!
So the question becomes, does purity really matter?
- I would say that to the 51% of babies who are born to unwed mothers today who live in poverty, it matters.
- I would say that to the 13% of teens who will contract a sexual transmitted disease this year, purity matters.
- To the 22% of babies who were aborted last year (and to their moms), it matters.
- To the 15+ million single moms in the country, many of which are unwed single moms, purity matters.
- To the 500,000 teens who attempt suicide every year (many due to failed sexual relationships & the emotional distress that accompanies them), it matters!
The reality of sexual purity is simply this: Our Heavenly Father loves us more than we could ever know. His desire isn’t to deprive us of a life full of joy, fun, excitement, and happiness. Just as a parent’s desire isn’t to deprive their 4-year-old child of fun when disciplining them for running into the street after a ball, God knows what is best for us. When we wait and do things in his timing, his way, the long-term blessings far exceed any temporal joy.
Our January Guest Post comes from author and friend, Jennifer Maggio. She is passionate about helping single moms and is considered one of the nation’s leading authorities on single parent and women’s issues. She is a critically acclaimed author and sought-after speaker who has appeared on more than 100 radio and television programs. You can find more information about Jennifer’s ministry (The Life of a Single Mom Ministries), as well as her books, by visiting her website at http://www.jennifermaggio.com.
Thanks Jennifer for sharing your heart for purity. You’re right, purity really does matter.
2011 Wrap Up
2011 was definitely a year of adventure. From the multiple trips I was blessed to take to the release of my first published book, Sparkle, adventure has met me at every turn. With far too many to stops to document, I’ve picked 3 of my favorite moments:
The Grandgirls
The Grandgirls – by far, Miley and Kam have to be some of my favorite experiences from 2011. I have really enjoyed spending time with them though-out the year enjoying the world from their perspectives…seeing life through their eyes. Their wide-eyed curiosity and desire to discover everything around them is inspiring to me…not to mention entertaining. Miley comes out with these hysterical one-liners unlike anything I’ve heard before. Well…actually, now that I think about it, she reminds me of our youngest daughter when she was little. And Kam looks like she could easily belong to Micki instead of Renee.
Fall in Atlanta
More fall in Atlanta
Washington DC
The Washington Monument
Somewhere on the RTJ Golf Trail
Road Trips – It’s no secret I love traveling, adventure and people watching. Escaping to another scenery is one of my favorite things to do. Especially things that involve nature. It’s the little things, you know. This year I had the pleasure of taking in Atlanta, Washington DC, Prattville, and South Carolina. What a combo. Atlanta with Micki in the fall was beautiful and break-taking. Wow! I didn’t know the leaves could hold so many incredible colors. It was my first trip out of Louisiana to see leaves during the fall. I’ve been missing out. Washington DC was quite an experience…Osama Bin Laden was found while we were there and the city erupted into celebration until the wee hours of the morning when the authorities shut things down. DC holds so much history, and our hotel was in the perfect location. So much to do and see. Prattville…well, the golf course was nice. We were able to team up with an accomplished violinist for one of the days on the course. Forgot his name … Kim something maybe?, but Doug & I enjoyed the company. Beautiful golf course! South Carolina…I think I’d love to live there. I never want to leave. I love the hills and spending time with family there. One of these days, we are not going to return from vacation and just stay.
Sparkle Christmas Project Books wrapped & ready to go!
Sparkle – 2011 has been one mile-marker year for Sparkle. I became a published author and Sparkle was officially released in August. Wow! What a privilege to have a front row seat at what God is doing in the lives of young people all over. When I released the book, I though it was specifically for teen girls. Boy, was I wrong. I’ve received feedback from young adult women, moms of all ages, and many single moms all saying how much God used Sparkle to speak into their lives. The most common response I hear is “I wish I’d had this when I was growing up.” I have to say, I feel the same way. It would have saved me lots of heart-ache. From Book Signings to the Chat.Live to our Sparkle Tribe, it’s been an eventful and amazing year. The Sparkle Pledge with the tribe in July was outstanding! In the month of December, we held the “Sparkle Christmas Project”. My objective was to collect as many books a possible to donate to teens and young adult women unable to purchase their own copy. What a success! 129 books were given away. We wrapped them up and sent them off to locations around the US. I wish I could have seen each girl receive their copy. So exciting! God knows the story of each and every one, and I cannot wait to hear all of them one day. What a journey this has been, and it’s only the beginning!
This is only a blip of 2011. No possible way to share all that has occurred. In 2012, we have great things planned. We’ll have guest-blog posts, more Sparkle Tribes kicking off, and much more. Thanks for an amazing 2011. 2012, I’m watching wide-eyed and with great anticipation of what you will bring.
Do you Rent or Own?
I love to watch the show “House Hunters”. Seeing all of the different styles of decorating and the way others live is interesting to me. Especially when they go to other countries. Each episode House Hunters shows the prospective buyer 3 options. They compare the options at the end, pick the best house to buy and show a few months later to see how it worked out. I love seeing the changes they make.
One show recently caught my attention. A family was moving overseas to Paris and was searching for the perfect place to live… not to far from the city, enough space for their large family, and close to her sister who already lives there. The first two homes they were shown were huge houses with tons of character, but they were too far away from the sister or not convenient to the city. The third option was a rental. Although it wasn’t a home to purchase, the house fit all of their criteria. The family had to weigh their decision carefully. Would they Rent or Own?
There’s one thing you need to know. God doesn’t want you to be a renter of purity. He wants you to be an owner of it. Renters don’t stay long, they come and go. They are not loyal and usually do not invest into the property since they do not OWN it. They are just temporary. Owners, on the other hand, are there for the long haul. They build equity or value as they go. They invest into their property, do regular maintenance, and protect their purchase. They are fully committed.
God wants you to invest into yourself. Take time to get into God’s Word. The Bible says the way to keep yourself pure is by “obeying God’s word” (Ps 119:9). Read books about purity. Connect with a good local church. It’s so important to have others stand with you. It’s not a half-hearted fad. It’s an ALL-IN, SOLD-OUT commitment! Don’t just date God; get into a committed long-term relationship with Him. Be an owner of purity and build some equity in YOU!
Question: Are you Renting or Owning Purity?
Looking for more resources about purity? Check out www.conniefirmin.com.
Christmas Sparkle
With the Holidays quickly approaching, I’ve turned up the Christmas music, decorated the tree, and started the shopping. I’m so excited about Christmas this year, and I’m not exactly sure why since both of our daughters live out of town. Last week, we had the famous Black Friday shopping day. I’m afraid it’s truly becoming a thing of the past. There’s an entire week of deals now. Stores are starting their sales earlier and earlier in an attempt to catch you and I before we spend all of our Christmas budget elsewhere. You now have Black Friday, Cyber Monday and Small Business Saturday. Some stores are opening on Thanksgiving Day. So sad that the tradition my sister and I loved by spending Black Friday together shopping is slowly fading away. Looks like we’ll have to start a new one.
Speaking of something new… If you have not heard, we have a Sparkle Christmas Project in the works. For a limited time, buy a book as a gift, and we’ll donate one to a young reader unable to purchase their own copy. You can also purchase books outright to donate to the project where both books will be donated. If you’d like to specify who will receive your donated book or include a special message with your donated book, just email those details to us and we’ll do our best to get it to them. We’ll do this for the entire month of December. TO PARTICIPATE, please email us at conniefirmin@gmail.com or simply go to our website at www.conniefirmin.com to purchase the book. Thank you for investing into the next generation!
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Live The Dream 2011
If you’ve never attended the Live The Dream (LTD) Women’s Conference at Healing Place Church, you are certainly missing out. We just wrapped up our 5th annual LTD, and as usual, this was the best one yet! Every year I question how this year can be topped, and then the next year rolls around bringing things to a whole new level. We had the honor and privilege of hearing Christine Caine of the A21 Campaign, Ps. Craig & Amy Groeschel of LifeChurch.TV, Ps. DeLynn Rizzo of Healing Place, and Priscilla Shirer of Going Beyond Ministries. As if one long message was strategically broken into multiple segments, the overall theme of LOVE was delivered with flare and lots of sparkle. It was one big God orchestrated message for the 2,500+ women in attendance. Here’s a blip of what I learned:
The weekend kicked off Thursday night with Christine Caine encouraging women to be ready and watching for their appointed time. We must not confuse our due season with a due date. It’s not about a date, but about God using us in the season He has destined for us. We must come with child-like faith, expecting! Perspective is everything. If you don’t get in a place of disappointment, then your God Appointments will certainly come. Question: What am I expecting?
Friday morning we gathered to hear Amy Groeschel share how we can be faithful rookies with our gifts and calling. We must take the first step, but it’s ultimately about Him and His will for our lives. It’s not about initiating “our own” plan. There are countless examples in the Bible of this, but we discussed a few in particular. God can give us the confidence we need (like Gideon), the ability to carry out His plan (like Moses), and the compassion to love others right where they are (like Jonah). Never compare your calling or gifts to anyone else’s; just go and do what He calls you to go and do when He calls. It’s by our weakness that His strength is made perfect. Question: What are my gifts? How am I called?
Christine Caine followed up with Jesus being our “first and only love”. Always stay true to your first love. No affairs…God wants fidelity; He wants ALL of our heart and devotion. If we just put our whole heart in, God will work out the rest. Be careful: Affairs come from lust, lonliness, bordom & familiarity, insecurity and laziness. It’s so important to guard your heart by getting in the Word and in His Presence. A good marriage takes a LOT of work. Find your identity in Him, and be the best bride you can be…the Bridegroom is coming. Question: Am I faithful to God? Am I committed to Him first?
Ps. Craig Groeschel wrapped up the morning calling us face-to-face with our fears. Fear is simply putting faith in the wrong thing. Name your fear and call it what it is. Realign your faith by choosing to trust God. The answer comes from seeking the Lord until He removes all of our fears. God is able and knows every detail of our fears. Our Abba Father has it covered. Perfect love casts out all fear. Question: Am I choosing to truly trust God? What am I afraid of?
By this point in the weekend, God had truly read my mail to everyone, and it was only the half-way point. Priscilla Shirer expanded on the story of Gideon from earlier in the morning. He was marked with a brand new name. She reminded us that when we are made new in Christ, we are not the same people we were, and we have no business going back there. Posture and perspective are everything in the battles we face. Fear will come, but never allow it to control your thoughts or your words. God equips us for the battle ahead. Be careful of the view since the vantage point can skew the view. When our resources are depleted, it’s then that God steps in. Questions: Where am I spiritually camping out? What type of people do I allow to speak into my life? Where am I leading others?
Then there was the famous “After Party” Friday night. Smores, sweets and a great show rounded out the night. Although Saturday morning came early, Ps. DeLynn Rizzo wow’d us with a powerful and practical message to help us in our breaking points. Breaking points really are good places where we get on our knees at God’s throne. Don’t focus on the situation, but on the solution. She gently reminded us that God hears us, cares for us, and heals us in His Presence. Weeping becomes a place of refreshment. Question: What area(s) of my life am I trying to control? How can I give this area to God?
The wrap up came from Priscilla Shirer reminding us not to sleep through the present trying to get to our tomorrows. We must be present in our present. It’s time for us to be fully awake and fully alert so we’ll be able to tell the whole story of what God’s done in our lives. Question: Am I fully engaged and awake?
There was so much meat on this bone that we’ll be chewing for months until LTD rolls around again next year. I cannot wait to get the CD’s in so I can listen to these messages over and over. Thank you HPC, Ps. DeLynn Rizzo and staff for another great conference. Get registered, and I’ll see you there in 2012!
To learn more about this amazing conference, visit www.livethedreamconference.com.
